Okay. . .I think I lied. This might go into more than Part 3 because I have learned so much over the past 8 months that I don’t think I can include it all in this last blog. I will see how lengthy this one gets.
So we came home from the LA trip in which I took the hike from hell and really started questioning what was going on with me and my health. A few weeks after LA I was back in California for a family wedding and came home with a horrible rash all over my body. When I went to urgent care my blood pressure was high, which it has never been before. I then had my yearly physical and my cholesterol was through the roof so my doctor immediately put me on a statin for my cholesterol and even though my blood pressure was not as elevated as it was at my urgent care visit she put me on blood pressure meds and referred me to a cardiologist. Was this it? Am I heading for a heart attack or bypass surgery or worse???
I was definitely worried about the heart stuff but there were so many other things going on with me that I needed answers to. I had not had my period for close to 2 years so I didn’t think this was menopause. In my mind and with the little knowledge I know I now had, I thought I was through menopause because my period was now over. The only thing I ever knew or had been told about menopause was that you would get hot flashes, night sweats, and your period would ultimately end ( no one ever told me how many starts and stops it would take for it to ultimately end!!!).
I really started looking for answers/solutions to what was going on with my body. I started listening to some podcasts and ran across Mel Robbins. This is when I am going to start linking the resources that have really allowed me to learn more about myself, my body, and menopause. Without being too dramatic, it has all been life changing. Many of you may have heard about Mel Robbins. She just wrote the book, Let Them, which has become very popular. I had heard a little bit about her before I stumbled on to her podcasts. Here is a link to Youtube that has many of her podcasts listed Mel Robbins Podcasts. In looking at some of the recent ones listed I realize I need to get back to this list and start listening again. There are some very intriguing subjects. One day, I listened to a kind of “best of” in which she was reviewing some of the most impactful podcasts she had done over the past year. One of the clips was from Dr. Mary Claire Haver. If you never listened to a Mel Robbins podcast, this is a great one to start with to see the kind of info you get from Mel’s podcasts. Here is a link to that podcast 8 Habits that will change your life: The expert advice you need this year. At first on this episode when Dr. Harver begins to talk it is a lot of nutrition stuff that overwhelmed me. Not that I don’t think nutrition is an important step to creating a healthy self but when people start talking about what you should and shouldn’t eat it is difficult to keep up. The point in the podcast that my head snapped a bit was when she started talking about spikes in cholesterol and how statins are not necessarily going to prevent heart disease for a woman. I had just been put on a statin due to a cholesterol spike–was this not the right move???? Then, she started talking about strength training as opposed to cardio training for exercise and I loved how she spoke about the importance of being strong not skinny because I think that is what most women are striving for is being thin and the idea of strength over skinniness really intrigued me. The last part of this excerpt, Dr. Haver began talking about taking hormones. Taking hormones? That’s a thing? Why would someone want to take hormones? I thought the benefit of going through menopause is to become less hormonal???
I needed to hear more! I immediately went to the entire podcast that Mel took this excerpt from: The #1 menopause Doctor: How to lose belly fat, sleep better, & stop suffering now. When Mel introduces the podcast she says, “This podcast will change your life”. She was not lying to me. This podcast did change my life. I was out for a walk listening to this and I cannot tell you how many times I exclaimed out loud. Someone walking past me probably thought I was crazy.
The podcast led me to purchasing Dr. Haver’s book, The New Menopause. I began reading this book on my birthday cruise this past year. Yep, nice easy read while you are vacationing. This book now sits on my desk with post-its and highlights throughout. I learned more in this book than any textbook I read in college. I know there are women who know much more about menopause than I did but I highly recommend this book for ALL women no matter how old you are because one of the most important things I learned in this book is menopause is something that women should start asking their doctors about in their 40s. Do not wait until you are 57 like me because some things have happened to my body now that I cannot reverse but could have been prevented if I would have been treated earlier. The good news is because of this book I am now being treated and I now know the questions I should be asking my doctors and that what is wrong with me is very normal and very natural but you do not need to suffer through.
This podcast and book also helped me to begin to talk to my friends about all of this. I found out that I wasn’t the only one going through all of this. As with most things with women’s health not everyone goes through menopause the same and have different symptoms and varying impacts of those symptoms. In Dr. Haver’s book, she lists probably 100 symptoms that can be related to menopause. I never realized what estrogen did for our bodies and that when we no longer have estrogen what can go wrong.
After reading the book, I wanted Dr. Haver to be my doctor because I feel like my doctors failed me. I think I will save this part for another blog because this is getting lengthy and I have a lot to say about this. Obviously, having Dr. Haver as my doctor was unrealistic but I knew I had to get some medical advice and I did not trust my current doctors to help me with this. Dr. Haver has a list of recommended doctors on her website: The Pause Life. These are recommendations that come from her readers and followers so she is not specifically recommending them so I didn’t know if I was going to go from that list but then she also recommended the Menopause Society website. Here is the link to this site: Menopause Society Website Through this site, I searched for providers near me who have a menopause certificate. Through my search I found several doctors that were also on Dr. Haver’s recommended list but I decided to go away from the typical health system providers because I felt betrayed by “the system”. I found a midwife near me who has a business called Midlife Midwife. This is a link to Alyson’s website Midlife Midwife. I had my first visit with Alyson in February. What a breath of fresh air!!! First she sent a very thorough questionnaire before my appointment asking me very specific questions about what I was going through and what my priorities were for treatment. Questions none of my doctors have ever asked me. This gave me an opportunity to really reflect on all of my symptoms and provide an honest assessment because I was not rushed and felt less vulnerable writing down my issues than speaking about them. My initial appointment was booked for 60 minutes and her office looked more like a therapist office than a doctor’s office. We were able to talk openly about my symptoms based on my questionnaire answers. I have never had a conversation like this with a medical professional before. It was so liberating and extremely helpful.
By the end of the appointment, we decided for me to try Hormone Replacement Therapy. Alyson recommended a topical estrogen because of my high cholesterol and blood pressure. This was something I was worried about because in my reading it stated that you may not be able to go on estrogen if you have cardiovascular issues but Alyson explained that topical estrogen would be an option for me. Estrogen is actually very helpful in preventing cardiovascular disease. So there are creams, sprays, and patches (who knew??!!??). I decided to go with a patch.
What I also learned in this appointment is that this estrogen will help with all of my symptoms except my pain with sex. So to treat that Alyson prescribed another form of estrogen but a cream that is used specifically for vaginal dryness.
As much as I would highly recommend Alyson to anyone, I did need to pay out of pocket for her services because she does not bill insurance. In saying this, it is the best money I have ever spent and I feel like her prices are very reasonable. I encourage you to check out her website.
So it has been 3 months since I started Estrogen. I just started progesterone last month. Alyson wanted to make sure the dosage of Estrogen was good before we moved to progesterone. Again, I don’t want to be too dramatic, but it has been life changing. I am sleeping again, my joints are not aching as much, I have energy thus I am able to work out more regularly, I feel like I am getting my body back (slowly but surely), I am feeling happy again and not as irritable, I still feel sad about my loss but it is more hopeful than hopeless, and here is where my husband and daughters will cringe a bit but my sex life is returning to once it was once was. Oh and yes, I do not have hot flashes or night sweats anymore–even though these were the symptoms that impacted me the least. And most importantly, I feel more empowered than I have felt in a very long time. I feel like I am back in charge of my life. I have control over things now as opposed to 8 months ago when everything seemed so uncontrollable.
HRT is not for everyone but as Dr. Haver says it certainly should be a conversation that every woman has with their doctor if you are experiencing symptoms or not to see if it is something you would benefit from. And it should be a conversation that starts in your 40s not your late 50s.
Again, I have more but this is a good start. Thank you for everyone who has reached out as I began writing about this. We are not alone. For those of you who have begun talking to friends, family, doctors about this, keep talking and sharing. For those who have not, please start to. Community is so important.
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