I’m not great at life transitions. I cried everyday when I moved up to Oshkosh to try out for the volleyball team the summer before I started college. I even talked to the team captain who was my roommate during try outs about asking the coach not to keep me on the team. As with most transitions, I got through the first week, made the team, and the next week all my other friends moved into the dorms and I soon felt right at home at UW-Oshkosh.
When I decided to become a high school counselor and move away from my comfort zone of being a counselor at the middle school–a school that I had spent 14 years at, met some incredible friends as well as the love of my life, knew everyone and worked very well with all my colleagues– I had some nerves but felt pretty confident with my decision. . .until my first day working at the high school. The high school environment was so different from the middle school. There were transcripts, college applications, schedule conflicts, balancing classes, not to mention helping high school students with all the problems that come with being a teenager. I was in over my head and came home in tears everyday questioning why I ever decided to make this change. As with every new job, there was a learning curve. It took me several months to find my way but eventually I got there and really loved working with high school students.
When my oldest daughter, Maddie, left for college I walked past her room everyday with tears in my eyes. When my youngest, Marah, brought us to the airport in LA after we moved her across the country to follow her dreams, I looked at her driving away and wondered why we were leaving her in this big city all by herself. They both continue to thrive as strong, independent young women.
When we sold our house that we raised our family in and moved to an apartment downtown, the first few nights I sat on our bed and questioned what we had done and cried to my husband that I wanted to go “home”. Eight years later and we continue to love our empty nest lifestyle and downtown living. Love it so much that when it came time this year to decide if we were going to resign our lease, find another place downtown, or go back to the burbs we decided to find another place downtown. We are moving this week and it comes at a good time as we just put our sweet JoJo down and a new place will hopefully help the grief we have been feeling and stop me from seeing her and Lily around every corner I turn.
However, here we go again. As I pack up–a chore I actually love. I love getting rid of unnecessary things, organizing, and packing things up– but this time I did it by myself as my husband was traveling to Poland and with both our dogs gone it was a bit eerie as the rooms became emptier and it started echoing. As excited as I am to have a fresh start in a new place in the part of downtown I always wanted to live, as I packed the boxes I reflected on our time at the Buckler Apartments.
Eight years really does go by fast. The Buckler gave us a great place to transition the dogs into city dogs with a park right across the street that the dogs really loved. The Buckler was in a great location. We walked to Bucks games and watched them win a National Championship–what an exciting time to be downtown. We catch area shuttles to the Brewer games and are hoping to celebrate a World Series win in this city. We have heard so many musical talents blocks away from our apartment at the Riverside, Pabst, and Fiserv. We have had season tickets at the Rep and this year the Broadway series at the Marcus. We have great bike paths and walking routes and we have regularly kayaked the Milwaukee River. We have had great food and drinks at some fun establishments just blocks from our home. All of this will continue with our move and we will be able to explore so much more.
However, there are people from the Buckler that we will never get back. When we first moved into the Buckler we had some great concierges who were super helpful and incredibly nice. Jackie, Mitchell, Chris, and Kiante will be people we will always remember. We met some great people who became our neighbors and some of them dear friends.
But the most difficult part of leaving a place is knowing you will never be in a place that was once occupied by some very special people and animals who will not be able to follow us to our new place. This was the last place that Jojo and Lily lived so I feel like we will be leaving them all over again. My best friend and cousin who I miss everyday spent many nights staying with us in this apartment building and now we will be moving to a place where her presence will never be felt and that makes my heart ache a bit. This is the apartment building where I first met Michael Wierman and the last place he saw Maddie, Don and I live in.
So once again as a new exciting chapter begins, I struggle with turning the page of this last chapter.
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