Most Important Job I Have Ever Had

“Every year should teach you something valuable; whether you get the lesson is up to you. Every year brings you closer to expressing your whole and healed self.”   ~Oprah Winfrey

In my last blog I told you that I have been busy with my new “job”.  Retirement is definitely a transition and Don and I always thought we would still work in retirement to supplement our income but we both wanted to do something outside of education.  The problem is there are not many good paying jobs in which you can choose the days and hours you work.  So we have gone back to the education world and are both subbing on a semi-regular basis.  But this is not the job I am talking about.

Many retirees also decide to use their time volunteering and Don and I also thought this would be a big part of our retirement years.   For many years Don and I took part in Relay for Life through the American Cancer Society.  We would fundraise through the year and participate in the event every year.  We decided since we had the extra time to join the Event Leadership Team of our local Relay for Life.  However, we found that Relay did not fill our cups like it once did and decided to not spend our time with this anymore.  

I still feel like I want to find a volunteer opportunity that I find enjoyable and has meaning and purpose for me but my wise daughter explained two things to me that helped ease my guilty feelings regarding volunteering.  She first pointed out that I had spent 32 years of my life giving of myself through my career as an educator and it is completely acceptable and understandable if I wanted to take a break from that for a while.  She also pointed out what I was spending a lot of time on—myself.  She questioned why this could not be my “volunteer opportunity”.  Why does our time and efforts have to be about others?  Why can’t it be about ourselves?

Which brings me to my new “job” that I have been spending a lot of time with–working on myself.  Something I have not had the time to do the past 25+ years because I was busy with my career and raising my family.  Any woman who is reading this please note you should not wait until retirement to start taking care of yourself.  However, really digging in and not just learning about yourself but putting plans in place does take a lot of time and as I have been doing this I have wondered when would I ever have had the time to fit all of this in while I was working and we were traveling gym to gym watching basketball and volleyball.

In my blogs earlier this year I explained about my menopause journey.  At that point I was just in the education phase but I have now moved on to the action phase even though education continues throughout.  Beginning in May, I added nutrition and exercise to my HRT treatment to see if I could see additional results beyond what HRT provided.  Especially now that I had my energy back I felt like I could add these components.  But as I said this takes time.  Each day I carve out 1-2 hours for physical activity depending on the weather and what type of exercise I am planning that day.  Then, between grocery shopping and cooking that takes up so much more time than just grabbing a handful of chips or eating dinner at the restaurant down the street.  Thankfully I have seen the results so I am motivated to continue to put this time in unlike this time last year when I was so discouraged and didn’t see or feel the results and just gave up.  

Really doing the education first and looking for things that I thought were going to work for me personally was a great first step.  The disappointing thing is the time that was wasted because I wasn’t getting appropriate medical advice and/or treatment.  So much more is now coming out about menopause and  I feel like it is being talked about a lot now or maybe I am noticing it more.  I will never forget watching a show that Oprah moderated about menopause in which Halle Berry discussed her own menopause journey in which one of her symptoms was painful sex and when she went to the doctor the doctor diagnosed her with a STD instead of considering the fact that it was due to menopause.  I remember feeling if Halle Berry was having issues with sex and her doctor misdiagnosed and mistreated her then we all are in the same boat and we need to start being our own advocates.  It still frustrates me that we need to do this but in my education I have found that very few doctors including gynecologists have been educated about menopause and very few long term studies have focused on women and our specific health needs and concerns.  This is beginning to change and we are much better off than our own mothers and our daughters are going to be much better off than us.

I am going to discuss more about my action plans in upcoming blogs but a good starting point is reading The New Menopause like I have suggested in the past.  Dr. Haver has also now released The New Perimenopause.  I highly recommend that women get in front of this and know what you are heading into so if you are in your late 30’s/early 40s start by reading the Perimenopause book.  The ‘Pause Life website is also full of information and Dr. Harver has also started a podcast called Unpaused.  Wow, she could hire me for her marketing team!!!  I am also linking a great quiz that you can take to check in on symptoms.  This is based on the Greene Scale that is in The New Menopause book and a scale that I think every doctor should have their female patients complete every year starting at 35.

It is a job learning about yourself and your health and taking care of yourself but it is the most important job you will ever have.  My goal is longevity but what is the use of living long if I can’t get myself off the couch.  I want to be able to carry my grandchildren and get on the floor and play with them.  I want Don and I to live as active lives as we possibly can for as long as we can.  If I would have continued down the road I was this time last year and just ignored everything that was happening to me that would never happen.  Now, I am feeling hopeful, confident, and happy.