Yep. . .I’m going there

I am not a liberal snowflake.

My feelings aren’t fragile, my heart isn’t bleeding.

I am a badass BELIEVER in HUMAN RIGHTS.

My TOUGHNESS is my TENDERNESS. My STRENGTH is in the SERVICE of others.

There is nothing more FIERCE than FORMIDABLE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

There is nothing more COURAGEOUS than COMPASSION.

But if my belief in EQUITY, EMPATHY, GOODNESS, and LOVE indeed makes me or people like me snowflakes, then you should know…

WINTER IS COMING.

I know the “golden rule”–don’t talk to family and friends about religion and politics, but I am sorry this is too important and I have been too quiet for far too long.  I want to make this clear that this is not a sore loser feeling like I have to vent because I didn’t win the game.  As my family and some of my friends can attest to, I am a sore loser when we play games and I am very competitive, but this goes well beyond that.

I have let this simmer for the last week and actually thought I might not write about this because I would have gotten to a point that I did not feel as much sadness and anger as I felt on Tuesday night but these feelings of deep disappointment and anxiety about the future have not gone away and as I said when I first started this blog, writing helps me process my feelings and I promised I was going to be vulnerable through this process, so here it goes.

I am going to first discuss my extreme disappointment that our country is so far away from being ready to elect a woman to lead this country.  28 countries have gotten there before us.  The greatest country in the world cannot get over themselves and see how women are phenomenal human beings and have been doing difficult things their entire lives and would make incredible leaders of this country.  This is not just a democratic issue.  The Republicans had a very strong candidate in Nikki Haley.  She is much more qualified than our president elect not to mention she doesn’t have a criminal record.  She showed her strength and intelligence in the primary debates.  Debates that the president elect did not even bother himself to attend because he knew she would have made him look like a fool just like Kamala did.  He did not even attend one debate and the Republicans still chose him over a much more qualified person because she was a woman.  This certainly could not be a policy issue because she shared many of the same opinions as our president elect and she certainly would have matched up well against Joe Biden.  Sure they can be in the cabinet, in the Senate, in the House, CEOs of companies but don’t even think about putting them in the Oval Office.  My heart hurts for Nikki, for Kamala, for Hilary, for any woman who has aspirations to be the President of the United States someday because unfortunately I don’t think it is going to happen any time soon.  America just proved that once again.

I have read and listened to all the ways people think the democrats, Kamala, Joe, etc. went wrong and I will let the political strategist figure that out because I am less concerned about why she lost as I am about why he won.  Our president elect has to be one of the most horrible human beings in our country.  He is not even close to being a patriotic person.  He has spoken disrespectfully of veterans, he used a visit to the Arlington National Cemetery as an election stunt, he wants to defy the constitution, he consistently doubts our election process (unless he wins), he does not believe in freedom of speech as he states he is going to go after journalist and media who speak against him, he does not believe in freedom for ALL, and he encouraged an insurrection on our nation’s capital.  I do not understand how anyone feels like this is a patriotic person who has our country’s best interest at heart.

He is not a kind person and consistently disrespects people and calls them (mostly women) names like crazy, fat pig, horse face, birdbrain, nasty, bitch.  We all remember how he mocked a reporter with a disability.  This is who we want leading our country.  Leaders can be kind and strong.  I have never heard any of our past leaders use such derogatory language.  Most people who need to lower themselves to name calling do this because they are disguising their own limitations.

He is a criminal and a fraud.  Now we know he is going to get off of everything because he has set himself up to have immunity by his self appointed supreme court, but seriously look up all of the court cases against him.  40 felony charges for classified documents, conspiracy to defraud the U.S., conspiracy to obstruct official proceedings, convicted of 34 felonies in the hush money scheme, civil case in which he is ordered to pay $355 million due to a yearlong scheme to dupe banks and others by falsifying financial statements, paid $25 million to reimburse students who he defrauded, convicted of sexual assault (with many more accusations and settlements), ordered to pay E. Jean Carroll $83.3 million for continued harassment, and his companies have filed for bankruptcy six times (not a crime but a way for him to work around paying his debts).  This is quite a list for an incoming president.  Again, I am not naive, most politicians have some baggage but I have not known any sitting president to have a legal resume like this but yes, let’s vote him in for another term.

All of the above is enough to question how this country elects someone like this but my biggest issue with the people who voted for this person is his treatment of women.  He is not only convicted of sexual assault but he has over 16 other women who have filed complaints or made accusations.  He was part of the Jeffery Epstein world which we continue to learn more and more about.  And I cannot even start on people who will defend him by saying that these women are all lying and just were looking for a pay out.  This was not just one woman and most women who have suffered from sexual assault do not want to come forward and deal with the scrutiny that victims have to deal with and retraumatize themselves for any kind of money.  False reporting of sexual assault is between 2-10% of reports.  Here are some of the specific cases against this person if you would like to read about them:   Assault Allegations  And let’s not forget, he is on tape stating that he can do whatever he wants to women.  This person has always disrespected women and he disrespected all women when he was president the last time by taking away their rights to their own reproductive healthcare.  Now all the women who have ever been sexually assaulted in their lives and let’s put some numbers behind that:  1 in 5 women in the US experienced completed or attempted rape in their lifetime.  81% of women report experiencing some form of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetime.  Only 40% of sexual assaults are reported.  All of these people have to be retraumatized for another four years. If you think I am being dramatic and don’t think a woman thinks about their own sexual trauma when they have to look at and listen to a convicted sexual offender who now has control over their reproductive health, you have never been victimized like this.  

This is where I have no understanding how any woman or man who loves a woman could have voted for this man.  I don’t care how expensive your groceries are or how intolerant you are of immigrants or transgender people.  I cannot understand how you would let a man like this run our country and if any of you would like to explain that to me I would love to hear your explanation because I personally could never look at a my two daughters, any of their phenomenal friends, any fellow women, or myself in the mirror and ever admit to voting for such a horrible man who has done horrible things to women.  And before anyone brings it up–yes, I feel the same way about Bill Clinton.  This is a nonpartisan issue.

So my disappointment in the people of the United States is deep and I was feeling very discouraged but then I remembered (and looked up) that there are 231 million eligible voters in America and only a little over a  third of them voted for this man.  This means there are two thirds of this country that I can still be hopeful about.  And so we have to deal with the fall out.  My hope is that it won’t be as bad as we think and he won’t do all that he said he would do.  But as Kamala said this is not the time to give up.  We need to roll our sleeves up.  We need to keep (or in my case start) speaking up and having the conversations.  As an incredible young woman said to me last week, we are done agreeing to disagree.  These are morals and values, not just policies.